I haven’t written in a good long while. As both of my jobs are basically retail gigs, I’ve been unusually busy during the month of December. No time to troll the internet for depressing stories and make my snarky observations.
And now with the freak tragedy in Asia, I have no insightful observations to make. Like perhaps many of you, I stayed up late last night downloading amateur video clips of astonishing scenes of nature’s wrath. A disaster of this magnitude really defies human comprehension.
Certainly there are ironies worth exploring. It is after all, a lucky break for Hollywood when a supermodel gets a key role in a real life disaster. She's a shoo-in to play herself in the inevitable TV movie. But I’m not the first to observe that it takes gorgeous white people to “humanize” third world tragedy. And in any case, it’s not the most helpful observation. $200 billion for a war in Iraq while we toss pennies at disaster relief, now there’s an observation worth shouting to the world.
But perhaps I should get back to movies, which are what usually keep me from this blog. I’ve been enjoying the year-end lists from real movie critics. The Village Voice’s year-end assessment is a particular favorite. As a compulsive list-maker myself, I’ve kept track and kept notes on each of the 2004 releases I saw this year. Next I ranked them from favorite to least favorite and wrote capsules for each one (I know, I know. Compulsive. Really compulsive.) What follows is the result, my own highly-opinionated guide to the year’s movies. You may notice that I’ve yet to see a number of prestige movies. That includes everything from Million Dollar Baby to Hotel Rwanda. I also managed to miss every single bio-pic this year (including Kinsey, Ray and Beyond the Sea.) It’s not that I have anything against bio-pics (well, I do actually) but I just never got around to seeing any. Then there are the festival movies, which professional critics get to see before the rest of us. I saw a few of these at the LA Independent Film Festival, but by no means all of them. Thailand, South Korea and Iran are three of the most touted countries for exciting new cinema. Seen any movies from these countries in your town? Neither have I.
A couple other caveats before the list. First, this list does not reflect every movie I saw in 2004. When you add in 2003 releases I saw this year and video rentals of older movies, my total is somewhere around 150. (Yep, I have no life.) Also I’ve rather arbitrarily chosen to identify only the director, and occasionally the star or writer of a movie when commenting on its craft. It’s not that I necessarily subscribe to auteur theory. It’s just convenient shorthand when discussing a work in so brief a space. No excuses, just the reality of this type of writing.
Also in generating so many capsules I’ve finally had to face one of the lazy idiosyncrasies of my style: the use of the parenthesis. Speaking parenthetically is a way of building caveats and asides into my writing. I simply haven’t learned how to write as well as I talk. All things being equal, I’d much rather do neither. I’d much rather sit in the dark, mouth closed, eyes open, watching a movie.
The Obligatory Top Ten
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- It’s Orpheus and Eurydice meets Phillip K. Dick! This loopy sci-fi romance is the best movie yet from smartypants screenwriter Charlie Kaufman. Jim Carrey (solid) and Kate Winslet (hooray!) play ex-lovers who hire the mysterious Lacuna Corporation to literally erase one another from their minds. The supporting cast is strong, particularly a post-Frodo Elijah Wood (all sideburns and heartbreak.) Michel Gondry’s generous, imaginative direction overflows with great formal and narrative ideas and the film has a surprisingly strong emotional center. Whether you’ve found yourself returning to the same person again and again, or simply repeating your patterns in every relationship, you’ll find something validating in this vision of love as conspiracy theory. It’s a romance for smart people, and easily my favorite film of the year.
2. Before Sunset- Richard Linklater’s 1995 film Before Sunrise told the “ships passing in the night” account of a romance between French girl Julie Delpy and American boy Ethan Hawke. His sequel finds the same people (same actors too) meeting again in Paris nine years later. They’re both older and somewhat coarsened by the disappointments of age, but their connection continues to spark. Linklater’s simple approach is to shoot this as one long conversation in a late afternoon real-time stroll through the streets of Paris. As the sky darkens, and Hawke’s flight itinerary looms, the suspense between the two lovers hangs as pleasingly thick in the air as in even the best thrillers. It’s a small miracle of understated filmmaking.
3. The Incredibles- The best action scenes in a movie this year weren’t in Hollywood spectacles or Asian genre pictures. They came from this whizbang computer-animated entertainment from the geniuses at Pixar (Go Emeryville!) Writer/director Brad Bird’s smart, funny and exciting superhero homage is more violent than your average family film but it’s also the sweetest movie of the year. A clan of superheroes must emerge from the mediocrity of suburban exile to save the world from a megalomaniacal supervillian. Giddily inventive, wonderfully-written, optimistic and intelligent, The Incredibles is like the anti-Team America.
4. Hero- Is Zhang Yimou’s Rashomon-inspired martial-arts epic really just nationalist propaganda disguised as an art film? Or is it high-falutin’ eye candy amounting to nothing more than a gussied up genre exercise? I’ll choose all of the above and I’ll add adjectives like sublime, gorgeous, and exciting. Hero is such a pure cinematic spectacle that I actually felt like a kid watching Star Wars for the first time. It overwhelmed my senses with its bold color scheme and kinetic action. It temporarily disabled my filters and quickened my pulse. See it on a big screen with deafening sound.
5. Goodbye Dragon Inn- Taiwanese auteur Tsai Ming Liang’s gorgeous ode to the decline of the movie palace is perhaps his most formally-rigorous film yet. (The first line of dialogue isn’t even spoken until about 45 minutes deep, allowing the deadpan physical comedy to silently unfold.) The unitiated may well find Tsai’s rigorous, static images and slower ‘n molasses action too mannered. I think it perfectly suits his portrait of the cinema as a haunt for lonely people and ghosts. Tsai’s use of color (particularly the rich greens and reds) and the everpresent patter of rain conspire to create a hypnotic atmosphere of hushed reverence for the lost pleasures of moviegoing.
6. Oasis- South Korean director (and current South Korean Minister of Culture) Lee Chang-Dong’s follow-up to his devastating Peppermint Candy is a powerful, troubling love story. Oasis is about the improbable connection between two social outcasts: a mentally-disabled ex-con (a remarkable Sol Kyung-gu) and a woman with cerebral palsy (the amazing Moon So-ri). Shunned by their respective families, the two forge a relationship that is by turns troubling, touching and life-affirming.
Switching between unflinching character study and moments of breathtaking magical realism, Lee’s film is an ethical and aesthetic high-wire act. Some critics found it mawkish and rightly criticized the way Lee glosses over an attempted rape in the first act. Indeed the movie has such potent subject matter and go-for-broke performances that reasonable people will probably have wildly polarized reactions. I found it one of the most genuinely moving films of the past few years. Lee asks us to consider the social isolation and proscribed freedoms of the disabled without resorting to a sermon. This isn’t a leftist “social problem” film. It’s a humane depiction of the fundamental need for erotic and emotional intimacy.
7. The Saddest Music in the World- Mistaken by some critics as an empty exercise in form, Guy Maddin’s latest feature is actually a loopy allegory about American colonialism and the commodification of national grief. Maddin’s silly humor and faux-vintage visual style (this looks like a lost silent expressionist film) act as so much sugar to help the medicine go down. What Maddin gives us here is nothing less than the first comedy which directly comments on the traumas of September 11th. Who could have missed the way Isabella Rossellini’s beer-filled, glass prosthetic legs shatter like the Twin Towers themselves during the penultimate musical showstopper? This satire on American hubris, popular entertainment and the Canadian relationship to US colonialism may be the most daring political statement of the year. Take a second look. Or a first one.
8. The Five Obstructions- This experimental documentary from Lars Von Trier almost defies description. In a scheme rich with Oedipal overtones, Von Trier challenges respected filmmaker Jorgen Leth to remake his 1967 short The Perfect Human five times, with five different sets of rules determined by Von Trier (we get to see the wonderful results.) Frustrated by Leth’s poise and emotional distance, Von Trier attempts to push his onetime mentor to the depths of aesthetic abjection as a kind of therapy. What could have been a cinematic inside joke instead becomes a fascinating look at how rules and limitations stimulate the creative process. It’s also a window into Von Trier’s particular obsessions. The auteur lays bare his talents for manipulation and cruelty, suggesting that they’re at least partially inseparable from the act of making movies.
9. Fahrenheit 9/11- Michael Moore’s angry, funny and shrewdly-marketed agitprop masterpiece has lately suffered an unfair backlash from high-minded lefties. I think the left needs more pop-culture savvy, populist shit-disturbers and frankly I get the whiff of middle-class condescension (not to mention fat kid schoolyard taunts) in most of the attacks on Moore. For all the talk about how he plays fast and loose with the facts, I haven’t seen anyone discredit Moore’s main points. Judging from “Man of the Year” Dubya’s recent remarks to Time magazine, F911 clearly landed some blows. I consider that a revolutionary act for which Moore deserves our thanks. Seriously.
10. Gozu- Takashi Miike’s latest genre deconstruction is the yakuza movie David Lynch never made. The director sets his virginal protagonist adrift in a Twin Peaksian Nagoya where a host of bizarre characters trigger his descent into sexual psychosis. Much has been made of Miike’s liberal borrowing from Cronenberg, Von Trier and indeed the complete Lynch filmography, but Miike’s final reel also suggests, both improbably and miraculously, Truffaut’s Jules and Jim. Don’t read the reviews because they’re just dying to tell you how this one turns out.
The Rest
11. Sideways- The critics love Alexander Payne’s jaundiced midlife crisis road movie, and they’re mostly right to praise it. Paul Giamatti leads a pitch perfect ensemble in this tale of a failed writer who takes his horndog college buddy on one last fling through California wine country. Payne engages in fewer cheap shots and caricatures than in his over-praised About Schmidt and he puts wonderful, believable dialogue in the mouths of his talented cast which includes a remarkable turn by the almost-forgotten Virginia Madsen. But here’s something to consider: if this movie were about malt liquor or beer aficionados (or worse), would critics still be falling all over themselves to praise it?
12. Kill Bill 2- This is hands-down my favorite Tarantino movie. While the first installment was nonstop carnage, in the sequel the characters simply talk each other to death. Thankfully the killer dialogue is wonderful and the pacing is exquisite. I also really loved the chemistry between Uma Thurman and David Carradine (kudos to Tarantino for resuscitating another 70s actor’s career.) Thurman deserves an Oscar. Or at least a really high-end pedicure.
13. Dogville- Lars Von Trier’s latest cinematic provocation caused a stir at Cannes for its “anti-American” views. Guilty as charged. But sticking it to the ole red, white and blue is only a part of what Von Trier is after. Dogville has many targets including the immigrant experience, capitalism and liberal complacency (read: yours and mine.) Do Von Trier’s critics need more evidence of the moral bankruptcy of American good intentions than the evening news?
As in many of his other morality plays (The Idiots, Breaking the Waves, Medea, Dancer in the Dark) Von Trier places a virtuous woman in a purgatory of small-town abuse and ridicule, implicating the viewer and himself in the process. This time his victim is Nicole Kidman, who gives one of the best performances of her career as Grace, a desperate woman hiding out from the mob in Depression-era America. The town’s goodwill quickly turns ugly as the decent citizens begin to exploit Kidman (er….I mean Grace), first for labor and then for sex. Von Trier’s radical staging (it’s all shot on a bare sound stage with almost no props) was reportedly inspired by Brecht, but it also suggests a curdled Our Town. Lauren Bacall, James Caan and Ben Gazzara lead a strong ensemble cast in one of the most original films of the year. Anyone who wants to see movies (and virtuous women) pushed to their limits should check it out.
14. Last Life in the Universe- Thai director Pen-Ek Ratanaruang’s lovely mood piece benefits enormously from Christopher Doyle’s gorgeous cinematography, a minimalist soundtrack from Small Room and appealing performances by Tadanobu Asano and newcomer Sinitta Boonyasak. What could have been a jarring clash of styles (opposites attract love story, magical realist tone poem, yakuza flick) is effortlessly shaped into a satisfying, if bewildering romance. I couldn’t write a plot synopsis to save my life, but I found myself pleasantly lost in translation.
15. A Tale of Two Sisters- This gothic horror film from South Korean director Ji-woon Kim has a wonderful look and a well-honed atmosphere of dread. Recalling David Lynch, recent Japanese ghost movies and even the VC Andrews chiller Flowers in the Attic, the story (reportedly based on a Korean folk tale) concerns two traumatized sisters, an evil stepmother, a distant father and a restless ghost in a spooky house. Since the story is told from shifting subjective perspectives, we’re never quite sure what’s real. In fact, nothing reliable turns up onscreen until about the last ten minutes. Kim’s film has the suffocating quality of being lost in the nightmare of someone else’s family trauma.
16. Spiderman 2- Sam Raimi’s follow-up to his comic book adaptation is looser, jokier and more soulful than its predecessor. Raimi packs the film with tons of gags and references, but wisely keeps his focus on Peter Parker’s existential conflict. Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst do the sexual tension thing very well. Alfred Molina plays the tortured supervillain and he’s scarier here than he was in Prick Up Your Ears, Boogie Nights and Frida combined.
17. Maria Full of Grace- Joshua Marston’s Spanish language debut is a straightforward drama about the harrowing experiences of a Colombian drug mule. His movie benefits from inherently riveting subject matter and a truly great performance from newcomer Catalina Sandino Moreno. Marston doesn’t approach the material as hand-wringing liberal do-gooder.Trusting in the intelligence and empathy of his audience, he simply leads us through one immigrant’s encounter with the American Dream.
18. Control Room- Jehaine Noujaim’s sobering behind-the-scenes look at the Al-Jazeera news network is one of the best documentaries of the year. The approach is more traditional and personal (read: NPRish) than the year’s other high-profile lefty docs. While the film reveals the mechanics of the Pentagon spin machine and documents its share of American outrages in Iraq, its real focus is on people. Noujaim trains her camera on journalists, producers, reporters and the US military’s own press flack. She finds complicated, serious individuals struggling to make sense out of a violent, polarized world.
19. Infernal Affairs- It’s said that Andrew Lau and Alan Mak’s cool 2002 crime drama helped revive the Hong Kong movie biz. Asian genre directors have always borrowed from American movies (and vice versa,) so it’s a pleasant surprise to discover a story that evidently hadn’t been told before. The incredibly intricate plot concerns an undercover cop (a tortured Tony Leung) buried deep in the mob and a mafia mole (cucumber cool Andy Lau) climbing the ranks of the police force. Both men are charged by their bosses with digging out the identity of the other. Confused yet? Don’t worry, the movie is a stunner and draws on the considerable strengths of supporting performers Anthony Wong and Eric Tsang (police captain and mob boss respectively.)
Leung’s half-baked scenes with a female psychiatrist have reportedly boosted the popularity of therapy in Asia! Meanwhile Martin Scorsese is planning some career therapy of his own. He plans to remake Infernal Affairs stateside with (you guessed it) Leonardo DiCaprio.
20. The Corporation- Jennifer Abbott and Mark Achbar’s dizzying documentary, based on the book by Joel Bakan, argues that the modern corporation behaves like a sociopath. It overflows with enough horrifying case histories to inspire the cold sweats in even the most stalwart free market true believer. In fact, it makes its case so effectively that the obligatory laundry list of solutions offered in the last half hour feels hopelessly inadequate.
21. Up for Grabs- Michael Wranovics’ hilarious sports documentary covers the legal circus surrounding a disputed and valuable baseball (Barry Bonds 73rd home run.) Two greedy fans, both claiming that they caught the ball first, slug it out while a colorful assortment of spectators, experts and lawyers weigh in. This has been compared to Rashomon and it’s true that your sympathies may shift as the narrative unfolds. The film left me wondering how sports became so absurdly overvalued in American life.
22. Primer- Shane Carruth’s no-budget time travel movie is sci-fi for discriminating nerds. It’s like Back to the Future crossed with In the Company of Men as imagined by an electrical engineer hopped up on pharmaceutical-grade amphetamines. Even David Mamet would have a hard time finding clarity in the dense jargon and clipped delivery used by the film’s off-putting protagonists. Primer is a singular viewing experience: it’s discontinuity serves the film’s internal logic. Impossible to love, maddening to follow and yet it earned my puzzled respect.
23. Time of the Wolf- Michael Haneke’s visionary and depressing post-apocalyptic family drama reminded me of Bergman’s Shame (another vague, but convincing nightmare of anarchy.) Every rigorously-composed shot builds on the last, creating a sense of hopelessness and dread. I can’t imagine living inside Haneke’s head. I almost phoned in a Paxil refill just watching this!
24. The Manchurian Candidate- First, let’s dispense with the obvious: John Frankenheimer’s original is a bonafide masterpiece of paranoid political satire. Everyone should see it. There. Now, let’s take Jonathan Demme’s 2004 remix on its own terms. Denzel Washington is appropriately sweaty and disheveled as Ben Marco a shellshocked Gulf War vet haunted by disturbing dreams. I Schrieber (giving a tragic, wonderfully-layered performance) is war hero Raymond Shaw, the mind-controlled mama’s boy and aspiring vice presidential candidate who becomes the target of Washington’s nagging conspiracy theories. As in most Demme films, a colorful assortment of character actors and supporting players round out a great cast. And what scenery Meryl Streep (channeling either Karen Hughes or Hillary Clinton) doesn’t chew up is great to look at. The camera is always moving and the rapid pace suggests that Washington and the viewer have been set loose in a nightmarish rat’s maze.
Though it probably won’t age well, The Manchurian Candidate may be the zeitgeist political thriller of the Dubya years. While Demme’s dense, cynical film doesn’t always underline its exact connections to the real world, there are enough maddening red herrings, whispered connections and disquieting images to suggest that Demme is as haunted by the evening news as I am. Some have criticized The Manchurian Candidate for being too implausible, but I would argue that anyone familiar with MKULTRA (and similar CIA plots) would wonder if its not paranoid enough! After all, the film’s dark plot concerns a greedy arms contractor installing its own bought and paid-for vice president. In 2004, this premise is already disturbingly retro.
25. The Mother- Roger Michell’s drama concerns a sexagenarian widow who engages in a steamy affair with her daughter’s alcoholic boyfriend. Balanced somewhere between character study and black comedy, it goes completely off the rails by the third act, but up until then, it’s one of the more daring movies of the year. And the sex is hot.
26. Sex is Comedy- Catherine Breillat’s comedy is about her own experiences struggling to direct the sex scenes for her remarkable feature Fat Girl. Like Von Trier’s The Five Obstructions, it’s actually more narcissistic auto-critique than movie. Ann Parillaud plays Breillat as a brilliant, manipulative tyrant, whose approach is vindicated by the visceral power of her final product.
27. The Dreamers- Bernardo Bertolucci’s nostalgic ode to cinephilia and Paris in ’68 is mostly one big tease. It looks gorgeous and I envied the American protagonist (who falls in and out of bed, cinemas and riots) with two hot, incestuous, spoiled-rich siblings, but somehow it just doesn’t come together.
28. Enduring Love- Roger Michell's handsome thriller plays like an arthouse Fatal Attraction. Adapted from a Booker Prize winning novel, it’s about a traumatic hot air balloon accident (I kid you not) which triggers a distinctly unsexy male on male erotic fixation. Rhys Ifans plays his scruffy Christian-hippy stalker to the hilt, suggesting how much more fun this material would have been in grubbier hands. Still the movie is book-ended by two of the most impressive and hallucinatory set pieces of the year. It's like a bologna sandwich on gourmet bread.
29. The Bourne Supremacy- This sequel about an amnesiac rogue spy is as lean as Hollywood actioners come. Matt Damon is surprisingly effective as the emotionless anti-hero. This isn’t the best thriller out there, but it still effectively shames the ailing Bond franchise.
30. The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi- Takeshi Kitano’s bizarre riff on the popular Blind Swordsman franchise didn’t win him any fans among samurai genre snobs. Since I haven’t seen the original Zatoichi films, I’m blissfully ignorant of Kitano’s heresy. What’s here is fun, wildly uneven and barely qualifies as an action film. The best special effect is Kitano’s blonde surfer hairdo.
31. Bad Education- Pedro Almodovar’s pastel noir has a playful narrative structure and teems with movie references, but it lacks a heart. There’s no one here to care about. I kept wishing I was watching its film-within-a-film instead.
32. Open Water- A bickering married couple (sporting the bland SoCal good looks of Fear Factor contestants) gets abandoned by a tour boat while scuba diving and ends up as shark bait. That’s the premise of this grim, effective thriller which famously marries the digital minimalism of Blair Witch with the terrifying kick of Jaws. Oh yeah, and it’s shot with real sharks. For all the hype, Open Water’s premise is so hopeless and minimal that it’s forced to tread water. Like its protagonists, the movie literally has nowhere to go. There is a kind of integrity in its tonal consistency and singular vision, but it may leave you shrugging your shoulders, even as you find your stomach in knots.
33. House of Flying Daggers- Zhang Yimou’s other designer martial arts epic is this gorgeous but maddening story of passion and betrayal. In contrast to Hero, this film’s characters act out of love rather than political loyalty, but the incredibly convoluted plot deadens any emotional significance it might have had.
34. Untold Scandal- Set in 18th Century Korea, this lavish remake of Dangerous Liaisons has some insights into the clash between Confucianism and Catholicism. It’s gorgeously photographed and erotic but the humor, which relies on innuendo and nuance often doesn’t translate.
35. Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle- I saw this at an advance screening appropriately stoned off my ass (who says movies don’t cause drug use?) and I was certainly happy to see a pro-drug, anti-cop movie released to the multiplex market. (It’s been too long since the last Cheech and Chong flick.) I also felt like I was seeing history being made. Is this the first mainstream Asian American teen comedy? (Hint- Better Luck Tomorrow doesn’t count.) There's something liberating about seeing these guys piss all over the model minority stereotypes and making profane comedy for the masses. Let’s hear it for a movie where all the white people are racist idiots (and white women are all whores!) But Harold & Kumar also marks another dubious first in craven marketing. Though the film has a knowing, oh so hip way of mocking its own product placement it's basically a feature length commercial for a fast food chain. It even has the corporate name in the title! Bogus.
36. Outfoxed- Supplement Robert Greenwald’s fine and unavoidably obvious documentary about the influence and bias of Fox News with the transcripts of the sex harassment suit against Bill O’ Reilly. That double feature should get your fresh crawling better than any horror flick of the past year.
37. Dawn of the Dead (2004)- Saw this remake of the George Romero classic in downtown Glendale next to the new Scientology center (speaking of zombies.) The first 10 minutes are the scariest in any movie in a long time. The rest is just so-so.
38. Mean Girls- If I were a teenage girl (see, we’re already on shaky ground here), I’m guessing that that this movie would speak to me. Part pop-sociology, part teen comedy, this is mostly funny stuff. And Lindsay Lohan is every bit as appealing as she was in Freaky Friday.
39. Notre Musique- Jean Luc Godard’s latest film to get a US release is formally lovely, but also didactic and confusing. Beware: any critic who can sketch a plot outline and identify the players is cribbing from press notes. Godard has provocative political ideas, but his movie isn’t any fun to watch.
40. Monster Road- This is a modest little documentary about stop-motion animator Bruce Bickford (who once worked for Frank Zappa.) Brett Ingram‘s camera nicely captures the artist and many of his visionary creations, but it only hints at the family traumas that shaped his hermetic character. To its credit, this is one of the few movies I’ve seen that captures the grey, gloomy beauty of the suburban Pacific Northwest.
41. Shaun of the Dead- I wanted to jump on the bandwagon for this inventive UK zombie spoof. It begins as an affectionate comedy about slackers caught in an arrested development of weed, beer and videogaming. The first half is promising, but once the genre mechanics kick in, the movie loses some of its comic steam.
42. Collateral- Michael Mann’s movies always look good even when they have precious little to say (one critic called this style “designer existentialism”) and this movie doesn’t have much to say, unless you buy the story of an amiable working class joe learning life lessons from a suave hit man. The most cringe-worthy dialogue has cool-as-ice assassin Tom Cruise lecturing square cabbie Jamie Foxx on the merits of jazz music (Sure it reverses the "magical Negro" stereotype, but it's still lame.) This silliness wouldn’t matter if it were a better action movie, but Mann isn’t exactly John Woo and the big showdown scenes are more confusing than exciting. A shootout in a Koreatown nightclub is particularly hard to follow. I loved Miami Vice as a kid, but Mann’s aesthetic hasn’t evolved. (Just substitute Alice in Chains & Audioslave for Glenn Frey & Jan Hammer.) Still, any resident of LA should give a look at Collateral. The digital photography is gorgeous and evocative, and Mann’s love of the landscape (Foxx flirts with Jada Pinkett Smith about traffic!) and the City’s diversity is a loving tribute amid the carnage.
43. I Heart Huckabees- David O’ Russell’s ambitious slapstick comedy has big ideas about consumerism, big business, the post-9/11 national malaise and the meaning of life itself. I applaud O’ Russell for attempting such difficult material but I can’t recommend his mess of a movie. The characters mostly run around in circles engaging in histrionic arguments and crude physical comedy. It’s more exhausting than funny. Mark Wahlberg who seems to have stumbled in from a better film delivers a warm, three-dimensional supporting performance as a disillusioned firefighter.
44. Secret Things- Lauded by French critics upon its release in 2002, this arthouse smut flick reverses the calculated gender warfare of Neil LaBute’s In the Company of Men. Or does it? Two corporate-ladder climbing femme fatales make sport of their male superiors, but they meet their match in an executive sociopath so evil he might be the capital “D” devil himself. Jean-Claude Brisseau’s movie has some of the hottest sex scenes ever committed to celluloid. (Is it because the characters are all so cold-blooded?) It’s also increasingly silly, ultimately devolving into utter nonsense. Hopefully you’ll be inspired as I was, to revisit its higher points with the search buttons on your DVD player.
45. Overnight- Revenge is sweet for the makers of this documentary about former collaborator and wannabe industry asshole Troy Duffy (the auteur behind Boondock Saints.) Duffy enjoyed brief Hollywood fortune before pissing it all away when his head swelled beyond his talents. There isn’t much of a character arc here. Duffy is a blowhard from the beginning and his downfall comes as little surprise. Though there is something to be gained from seeing this morality play unfold, you may wonder what anyone saw in this jackass to begin with.
46. The Day After Tomorrow- Though it doesn’t reach the pulpy greatness of Irwin Allen’s disaster pics, this Roland Emmerich monstrosity has its virtues. For one thing, it’s a zeitgeist blockbuster, ripped from the headlines (OK, buried in the back of the paper) about the dangers of global climate change. There are some cathartic images, like tornadoes destroying Hollywood and some unavoidably disturbing ones, like the mass panic in the streets of Manhattan. Movies like this work because of the way they transform our legitimate fears into popcorn hyperbole. With some fun jabs at Dick Cheney along the way, this makes an excellent post-election alternative to both CNN and the Weather Channel.
47. Garden State- Zach Braff wrote, directed and stars in this modest indie drama (which had certain critics making ill-advised comparisons to The Graduate.) Braff has a great eye for detail and draws a wonderful performance out of Natalie Portman, but the film ultimately gives in to every indie movie cliché it seems to be avoiding. And the too-pat, romantic ending is something I may have accepted when I was ten years younger. Does that make me a cynic?
48. Bush’s Brain- Since Karl Rove is evidently the most powerful man in the country (if not the world) he clearly deserves to be eviscerated with a bigger budget, greater artistry and less mercy. For now, this quickie documentary/political horror movie will have to do.
49. High Tension- I’m conflicted about this nastily-effective French slasher film, which one festival programmer cheerfully called the “most mean-spirited movie I’ve ever seen.” It’s extremely well-made and legitimately scary, but also deeply misogynistic and pretentious (in a way only some bad boy French director could pull off.) Maybe I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn’t downloaded a real-life beheading a few days before the screening.
50. Team America: World Police- Though this all-puppet spoof does a great job of lampooning Bruckheimer action movies, it doesn’t have much to say about the war on terror. Trey and Matt’s humor isn’t that much different from the kind of half-joking, fag-baiting (“girlie men”) we hear from Governor Schwarzenegger or the rest of the right wing. But worse, it lacks any real point of view: right, left or otherwise. The “message” (and don’t kid yourself that there isn’t one) is nothing more than a status quo assertion that American militarism is a necessary evil. Parker and Stone’s achievement is singularly dubious: Team America is political satire for the “undecideds.”
51. Infernal Affairs 2- This overblown sequel to the nifty HK hit is a naked attempt to amplify the gravitas and transform the franchise into a triad Godfather. It suffers from the absence of the first film’s two stars: Tony Leung and Andy Lau, and from a confusing and overly convoluted plot.
52. The Ladykillers- The Coen Brothers have found two marvelous performances in Irma Hall as a fussy black church lady (she won at Cannes!) and Tom Hanks as a pretentious master criminal. Unfortunately there’s not much else but broad caricature (much of it racial) and lame slapstick in this remake of the 1955 Ealing Studios comedy. The Coens’ trademark visual inventiveness (mostly lacking in their last Hollywood sellout Intolerable Cruelty) is back in force. To the annals of film history they add a hilarious POV shot from inside a football helmet.
53. The Brown Bunny- Vincent Gallo’s cock is evidently as large as his talent. However as the cliché goes, it’s not the size, but how you use it. The famously controversial Brown Bunny is equal parts road movie and Calvin Klein underwear ad. It looks gorgeous, but lacks any dramatic payoff. (Gallo literally and figuratively fakes his own climax.) And if you believe the right wing auteur’s claim that this film is both anti-porn and anti-drug, you might find yourself yearning for the libertine values of the 70s movies he so liberally plunders.
54. Incident at Loch Ness- In order to enjoy Werner Herzog’s self-parody, you’d have to know who Werner Herzog is. Also, in order to be hoodwinked by the premise of this mockumentary cum industry inside joke, you’d have to be oblivious to precedents like Blair Witch and Spinal Tap (and to Werner’s own rep as a prankster.) In other words, you’d have to be both a cineaste and a dupe to postmodern movie marketing. So, who exactly is this for? Oh yes, for Werner and his Hollywood friends, that’s who.
55. Shrek 2- I’m now convinced that the real “liberal agenda” in Hollywood is to nurture a hip sense of irony in even the youngest of kids. Less an act of imagination than a pastiche of pop culture references, Shrek 2 is often clever and funny and also fucking soulless. And the happy ending is the most disingenuous part of it. Bottom line: there isn’t a writer in Hollywood who would choose to be a fat green ogre instead of a buff blonde hunk.
56. Spartan- In the age of the “enemy combatant,” here’s a movie that glorifies police state thuggery. Val Kilmer is a patriotic sociopath who doesn’t let due process get in the way of cracking the case. And he’s saddled with some of David Mamet’s most ridiculous macho-poetic dialogue ever. How can a movie be both fascist and silly at the same time?
57. Saw- James Wan’s ugly schematic horror film ups the ante beyond the sick schtick of Fincher’s Seven. Though he’s imagined clever ways of making his characters suffer painfully (maybe he could get a job at Gitmo) Wan can’t tell a coherent story. Saw is incompetent and yet strangely consistent in its grim tone. (The film’s original cut reportedly earned an NC17 not simply for its violence but for its desaturated color and muffled sound!) Saw also features the worst performances ever by serious big-time actors Danny Glover and Cary Elwes.
58. The Passion of the Christ- When this premiered at the Arclight in Hollywood, the usher announced that it was "OK" for viewers to cry if they became emotional during the film. At which point my companion blurted out: "Is it OK to laugh?" In truth, neither response is likely. Instead Mel's Jew-baiting epic seems uniquely tailored to arouse more carnal urges. S&M fetishists will get their best kicks since Miike's Audition, and all in loving slo-mo. In its defense, any movie that encouraged huge segments of the American movie-going public ("values voters" and Bush-haters alike) to actually read subtitles can't be all bad.
59. Napoleon Dynamite- The friend I dragged along to this pre-fab cult comedy actually turned to me halfway through and promised to murder me in my sleep for forcing him to sit through it. But for all that bile, the conventional wisdom holds that Napoleon Dynamite is the sleeper hit of the year. Its large and devoted cult even includes Jonathan Demme. To me, the movie feels more like a triumph of art direction and attitude than artistry. It’s as if young auteur Jared Hess replaced the warm, beating heart of a Wes Anderson movie with one of those cool retro Casio calculator watches. And again, what is the deal with the 80s fetish? Do high school kids today still talk about ninjas?
60. When Will I Be Loved- Old school NYC womanizer James Toback is a hit or miss provocateur. And oh boy did he miss with this tone deaf quickie about a manipulative femme fatale (unconvincing Neve Campbell) who turns the tables on both her hustler boyfriend and an aristocratic Italian billionaire. Sound like fun? It’s not.
61. Nina- Saw this grueling exercise in hipster nihilism at an LA film festival. I dutifully stayed to the end. Remarkably, so did everyone else. Brazilian director Heitor Dahlia’s riff on Crime and Punishment is a great argument for banning the export of David Fincher movies.
Also seen…
THX 1138: Director’s Cut- George Lucas did some digital tweaking to his visionary feature-length debut for this limited re-release. For the most part, the movie benefits from the updating (no, Greedo doesn’t shoot first in this one.) I was lucky enough to see it in a theater, where the stark, wide-angle compositions and Walter Murch’s revolutionary sound mix were particularly striking. It’s ironic that Lucas, who here envisions a future where technology erases individuality and the messiness of human feeling, has realized his own dystopic vision in the lifeless CGI spectacles that pass for Star Wars prequels.
Donnie Darko: Director’s Cut- OK, so I didn’t care much for this the first time around (I’m allergic to 80s nostalgia) but director Richard Kelly’s cut has a gorgeous new sound mix and more (too much?) exposition about the time travel logistics. On second look, the movie worked much better. I could almost see how legions of misfit teens (and altweekly critics) adopted Donnie as their tortured hero. I still don’t buy Drew Barrymore as an English teacher and find the Patrick Swayze subplot to be a cheap shot, but Jake Gyllenhaal and the rest of the cast bring such feeling to their parts that I found myself genuinely moved.
Unfinished…
The Village- Even though I’d already guessed the big surprise ending (from the previews no less), I ducked in to a theater to see how Shyamalan sets his trap. I lasted through about 30 minutes of laughably clunky dialogue and portentous mise en scene. That was enough for me.
Closer- I had intended to go the distance on this one, but after a post-credits car accident, my friend Bret elbowed me and insisted we leave. (Bret refuses to watch any movie where a character is hit by a car in the first five minutes.) In the lobby, I pleaded and bargained with him to stay long enough to let me see Natalie Portman naked. He wearily followed me to the theater balcony where we slogged through another thirty minutes of this Mike Nichols chamber piece. Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Jude Law and Portman play unpleasant yuppie Londoners who engage in various forms of sexual betrayal, with all of the guilt and none of the fun. Once Portman had stripped to a G-string, I turned to Bret (in the process of rolling his eyes at the obligatory trip hop soundtrack) and announced that we could leave. And so we split.
I’d still like to finish this, mostly because I enjoyed Nichols’ earlier passes at this material in Carnal Knowledge and Viriginia Wolf, and I have a sick fascination for these movies that stack the deck (a la Neil LaBute) to illustrate the absolute cruelty of the battle of the sexes. I can’t however, escape the nagging feeling that all such movies could benefit from a “magical Negro” character (perhaps a straight-talking Bernie Mac) to make regular appearances to slap these morose uptightie whities upside their silly, little heads.
I would have said there was a queer Orpheus story playing out in "Gozu" too and I've seen the connection made elsewhere.
As for "Last Life in the Universe", I love Tadanobu Asano and Christopher Doyle's camera in almost anything he shoots, but I found this film extremely pretentious when I finally got to see it. Certainly I wouldn't have placed it above Kitano's "Zatoichi", but I suppose that's why it's not my list! A good read anyway, best of luck to you in 2005.
Posted by: Adam Campbell | December 31, 2004 at 04:15 AM
I know this isnt a hip thing to say, but damn you watch a lot of fuckin movies.
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Fantastic list of movies. Would love to see an updated one though.
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